Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Teasing on T-Day with the T-Word
It's coming.
And someone is going to say it--they do every year.
It's that uncle, that father, that a bit too smart for his/her own good nephew or niece. Maybe even grandpa.
Someone is going to say it--maybe it's even you. I can see it in your shifty little eyes.
Perhaps when laying out on the couch after the big meal. The game is on. The Lions are losing. They always do. It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without Matt Millen wringing his hands while his team suffers the agony of defeat. Except, of course, that year they beat the Packers for their first win of the season. Good times.
Nevertheless. After eating too much, talking too much and drinking too much, someone is going to be tired. That someone is going to drop the word: tryptophan.
And you know how they're going to say it. It will be that smug sort of, "look how clever I am" kind of comment. That, "I'm in touch with the inner workings of the scientific community, and you didn't listen in junior high biology" type of comment.
Oh yes. That's how it will go down.
Prepare yourselves, witless masses! This is serious business! How will you respond? Will you allow that person to have the upper hand on interesting amino acid facts for the tenth consecutive year? Is that what you really want? Will you, once again, come to this battle of wits armed with nothing more than cranberry sauce and a cheap bottle of wine? Is that the best you can do?
Or will you be ready this time?
Will you be prepared to retort, "I think your level of tiredness has more to do with the bottle of cheap wine you just consumed than the turkey." Will you remind them that tryptophan is only the first in a three step process leading to sleep, with vitamin B and serotonin playing their parts in turn? Will you glibly respond that tryptophan only affects an empty stomach and then wittily comment on the peculiar disappearance of that person's belt buckle? What will you do to have the upper hand this year, faithful minions? This battle is too important to lose.
